In reading the below article from www.honeyfund.com/Etiquette, I realize that a lot has changed since I got married in 1996. For instance, I did not realize that it was uncouth to include a gift registry in your wedding invitation. I guess everyone has their idea of proper etiquette. A lot of times, it comes down to what a person is comfortable with. There are a few thing to consider when talking etiquette. Culture is one thing to consider. Personally, I would be uncomfortable with asking guests to fund my honeymoon or a home. I think that is way over the top. However, I have heard that it is the norm for other cultures to do just that!! I think that a registry is suffice. This gives the option of the guest to visit the store or go online to order what you would like. A lot of times guests will default and give money and that is OK too. I just have an issue with asking or telling people to specifically give money to fund a specific need or want. In the end, if you decide to have a wedding, you need to be prepared monetarily. This goes back to my previous article from last week. Budget, budget, budget and do what you can afford without borrowing and putting yourself in depth and hoping you will make up for it in the end by way of gifts and money. I am sure that everyone reading the artice have their own opinion and point of view. I would be happy to hear the views of others!!
Are guests expected to give us a gift?
Get ready for a big surprise: According to traditional American etiquette, wedding gifts are purely optional. That’s why it’s uncouth to include any mention of gifts with your invitation—it comes across like you’re expecting a gift. Reality check! As we all know, most guests will choose to bring a gift. After all, they are the people that love and care about you the most. They’ll want to honor your special occasion by giving something you really want.
Are we expected to have a wedding registry? What if we don’t want gifts?
You might be thinking, “If gifts are not required, why should we go to the trouble of creating a registry?” Simply put, it’s a courtesy to your guests. Your registry makes it easier for them to pick out something they know you’ll love. If you’re the kind of couple that would rather not receive gifts at all, you’ll find that requesting no gifts is tougher than you think. Again, most guests want to honor your special occasion by giving something. That’s why a Honeyfund is such a great idea. You can easily set up a cash registry where guests can give you something you’ll really use and enjoy, and you’ll avoid accumulating more stuff.
Is asking for cash gifts or money gifts acceptable etiquette?
By and large, the answer is “Yes!” Even though asking for cash has, in the past, been against American etiquette, honeymoon registries and cash registries are much more common these days. As noted in a May, 2008 Wall Street Journal article on honeymoon registries: “‘A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request,’ says Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, a Burlington, Vt., etiquette think tank. ‘There’s no objection to it from an etiquette point of view.’” And, since Honeyfund allows guests to purchase a piece of your honeymoon, home down payment, or anything else you are saving for, guests have the feeling they are contributing toward something exciting, something you really want and need, as opposed to the impersonal gift of strict cash. Finally, we recommend you consider the culture and values of your family and guests. Cash gifts have long been the norm in many cultures. Look at your guest list and think about who would and wouldn’t be open to the idea. And remember, you can always have both! Create a department store registry for those who would prefer to give you something more conventional. You can link to it from your Honeyfund page.
Is it proper etiquette to announce our registry in our wedding invitation?
In all our research, we’ve only found one answer to this question: No! Never mention gifts or gift registries on anything associated with your invitation. You can however provide the website address of your wedding website, which you can link to Honeyfund.com and your other registries. If you don’t have a wedding website, see the next question.Note it is perfectly acceptable to include information about your registries in a bridal shower invitation.
Do we still need a traditional wedding gift registry?
We recommend you create at least one conventional gift registry for the traditionalists on your guest list. It’s also nice to have for the bridal shower. And this way, your guests can choose from a wide range of things they know you’ll like. And there’s one more benefit of a traditional registry: Many department stores entice you to “complete” your registry after your wedding by offering you up to 20% off remaining items. So if there is anything you’ve been eyeing for your home, put it on your wedding registry. If no one purchases it, you can get it later at a discount.
What if we don’t have a wedding website?
If you don’t have a wedding website, we provide you with a wedding details section, which includes information about your wedding date, location and other registries. You can direct guests to this info by including your personalized Honeyfund.com website address with your invitation. We even provide customized inserts, which you can download in your Honeyfund account.